Hotel California - the Mallu version of the popular number (Submitted by: SB Variar)

Here’s the Mallu version, of 'Hotel California' ! Hope you will enjoy.

The song is attached (click here to download and listen), and the lyrics are below to help you follow the (at times) thick Mallu accent, and to sing along if you fancy. (For the impatient, while the attached file starts with music, the actual singing of the lyrics starts after 1minute and 12 seconds, though I suggest you start around 1 minute).

Hotel Keralafonia !....lyrics start now.....


On the road to Trivandrum
Coconut oil in my hair
Warm smell of avial
Rising up through the air
Up ahead in the distance
I saw a pink tube-light
My tummy rumbled, I felt weak and thin
I had to stop for a bite
There he stood in the doorway
Flicked his mundu in style
And I was thinking to myself
I don't like the look of his smile
Then he lit up a petromax
Muttering 'No power today'
More Mallus down the corridor
I thought I heard them say
“Welcome to the Hotel Kerala-fonia
Such a lousy place
Such a lousy place
Such a sad disgrace.
Plenty of bugs at the Hotel Kerala-fonia
Any time of year
Any time of year
It's infested here”
His finger's stuck up his nostril
He's got a big, thick mustache
He makes an ugly noise
And he just laughs
Buxom girls clad in pavada
Eating banana chips
Some roll their eyes, and
Some roll their hips
I said to the manager
My room's full of mice
He said, Don't worry, saar,
I sending you meen karri, brandy and ice
And still those voices were crying from far away
Wake you up in the middle of the night
Just to hear them pray
Save us from the Hotel Kerala-fonia
What a lousy place,
What a lousy place
Such a sad disgrace
Trying to live at the Hotel Kerala-fonia
It is no surprise
It is no surprise
That it swarms with flies
The blind man was pouring
Stale sambar on rice
And he said
We are all just actors here
In Silk Smitha-disguise
And in the dining chamber
We gathered for the feast
We stab it with our steely knives
But we just can't cut that beef
Last thing I remember
I was writhing on the floor
That cockroach in my appam-stew
Was the culprit, I am sure !!!
Relax, said the watchman
This enema will make you well
And his friends laughed as they held me down
God's Own Country ? Oh, Hell!!